"In order to change,
we must be sick and tired
of being sick and tired." - Anonymous
After days, and days of feeling devastated because of the loss of a very special soul (more about the role of special friendships in our lives later) I went exactly into this state of being sick and tired of feeling devastated and in tears. I really did! ... I just realized that enough is enough and felt the need to get out of that circle of sadness, I felt the need to change something.
Whenever one is in a difficult situation one tends to rely on the solutions that were helpful when one went through similar moments. It is a matter of patterns..... we react in patterns ... good or bad. Yes, I was fed up with the way I felt, I was fed up with my endless moaning about the weather (yes it is grey, yes it is raining, yes it is humid and miserable) and being Saturday morning, I went to the gym ... the new one I've just joined a few days ago ... Bannatyne's. No, I'm not part of the cohorts of people joining the gym on January 1st and giving up in February ... I've been a member of David Lloyd gym for a few years and felt less and less inspired by the atmosphere, the teachers, the environment. Gyms are much more than just the equipment or the food they serve .... gyms have or don't have a SOUL. This is what gives the clients a feeling of belonging, of being rejuvenated, relaxed, energized!
So yes, I had to push myself and go to the gym ... and this is the most important thing ... making the first step, getting outside the door when a part of me was saying ... no, you're too weak, you'd better go tomorrow, or on Monday ... when you'll be stronger. It's so easy to give in to this whispers ... so easy to give in to the grief .... and wait until a change of mood happens by itself. It doesn't .. trust me .. without being fed up, without standing up and doing something different.
Much to my surprise I had an amazing morning, experienced for the first time Iyengar Yoga with an exceptional teacher, connected already with a lovely soul........it was a good morning.
Outside the rain was still puring, it was still grey, it was still humid, i'm still sad of course....... but for a few hours .. I gave myself permission to experience ... something new .. to re-connect with life.